his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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