u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
