if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
