I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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