He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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