I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
