Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
being pregnant is like rehab
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
