Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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