Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
