All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
