So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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