fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
