I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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