I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
