okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
