got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I deserve this hangover.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
