i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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