Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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