i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Be still, my beating vagina.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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