Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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