So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
