I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
