he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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