is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
