the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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