Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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