I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize