Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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