Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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