in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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