i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
