flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
