You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
