PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize