did you get engaged???
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
