Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she peed on how many people?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
