3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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