If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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