the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
