y did u give ur computer a hand job?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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