Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
