May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
