why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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