You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im holly from the hills drunk
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
