Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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