had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
