I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
