you didnt know i had herpes?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
