I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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