Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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