U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
