Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
