Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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