dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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