the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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