if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
