he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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