you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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