did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
