so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
