Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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