no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
