another moral hangover. fuck.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize