I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
