Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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