nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize