i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
handjob tips. give me some.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you win again, gameday.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize