Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
