its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
