I saw his package. It spoke to me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
