I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
