called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
