So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize