chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
