There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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