Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
